


The Real Thing

by fyredancer



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 09:32:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyredancer/pseuds/fyredancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom's wanted someone he's been denying himself for years...but maybe it's within reach if he goes someplace they can both pretend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for oo_fifi_oo for the THF Donation Drive! Hope you enjoy the extra bit I added. ;) Fantastic and wonderfully timely banner by the ever-amazing pseudoblu.

"You smell like skank," Bill announced, close enough to the door that Tom would have to brush past him chest to chest in order to get into the house, or turn around and go back the way he'd come.

Neither confrontation nor retreat appealed to Tom at the moment. He was wrecked, all energy drained from each part of him, and even though that had been the objective going out – leaving nothing for Bill – there was a downside to the result. He had no means to cope with this stormy-eyed, barb-spitting Bill, either.

"I guess it's better than smelling like virgin," Tom said tiredly, pushing past Bill and trying to hitch his pants up to make a faster escape.

Bill sputtered only a moment. "What is that even supposed to mean?" he cried, slamming the door and following Tom into the apartment, trailing after him like one of their dogs latched onto the scent of a treats-laden pocket.

"You figure it out," Tom muttered, reaching down to rub Scotty's head in passing. Their black lab mix raised his head a fraction from where it was pillowed on the couch and his tail thumped a few beats, but he remained otherwise unmoving. The dackels were nowhere in sight, probably curled up on Bill's bed, the spoiled little jerks. Scotty was a good boy but he was so sedate now, he didn't seem to want to join Tom for long walks as he had in the past.

"No, Tom, that was a shitty thing to say!" Bill persisted, strident and following so close he was on his heels as Tom gave up on the notion of escaping upstairs to his own room.

Tom revised his plans and headed for the fridge and the welcome relief that the beer within would bring. It wouldn't judge him for rolling his eyes at Bill's aggressive double standard, calling Tom out for bringing up his virginity when he'd said Tom smelled like a slut he'd banged. It wouldn't judge him for sleeping with girls, a lot of girls, so many that he didn't keep track of their names, sometimes he didn't even get a name. Beer wouldn't judge him for the reason why he pursued women in such an aggressive attempt to sate his always-thrumming sex drive...

"What do you want me to do, take it back?" Tom challenged. "You _are_ a virgin." He wasn't sure what a virgin smelled like, really, but Bill was it. And Bill smelled like peaches, sometimes wisteria. A hint of roses or something juicy and mouth-watering. Mangoes. Jasmine. Sweet and worth tasting. Tom closed his eyes and put his lips to the mouth of the bottle. The ache was back already.

It hadn't even been gone an hour this time.

"You're impossible," Bill ranted, leveling a sharp white-tipped finger in his direction. "Inconsiderate...twisted...unbelievable..."

"And yet, here I am!" Tom threw both arms wide and turned, threatening to spill his beer with the force of his motion. He clenched his hand around the bottle neck. "What do you want from me, Bill?" It was a dangerous question, he knew. So open-ended, Bill could take it anywhere.

"I want you to stop screwing everything that moves!" Bill shot back. "It's disgusting, you could catch something, you could get _sick_ \--"

"I'm safe," Tom interrupted, narrowing his eyes. "I always use condoms."

"You're always missing the point!" Bill shot back. He crossed his arms over his narrow chest but despite his aggressive posture, he looked away. "You're always going out to get laid, always...always out with someone else, or always setting up, arranging to _be_ with someone else. I hate it."

"Are you jealous?" Tom asked, tipping his bottle up and keeping watchful eyes on Bill. This was even more dangerous territory, because it wasn't a question. He was challenging what they both knew to be true, yet dragging it out in the open tended to have explosive results.

The answer wasn't the denial or evasion that Tom expected, but so much worse. Eyes wide and vulnerable, Bill looked straight at him and whispered, "I hate for anyone to have that much of you. Anyone you're going to use and throw away, I hate for you to give them so much."

Tom inhaled sharply, disguising his surprise with another swig of beer. "It's just sex, Bill," he said with a short laugh.

"That, right there, that's part of the problem," Bill said, jabbing a manicured fingernail in Tom's direction, his voice rising. He no longer looked angry, only upset as he continued, "It's not good for you, Tom. I don't like what it's doing to you."

Tom began to shake his head, the weight of dreadlocks pulling at his roots, and he set his beer down as weariness dragged him down too heavily for the argument they were having. "It's not doing anything--" he began, shifting from one foot to the other. He was ready to push past Bill, take a shower, collapse in an undisturbed heap for a few hours.

"It's taking you away." Bill's voice cracked. He wiped beneath his dry made-up eyes and glared at Tom fiercely. "It's not good, Tom, all that sex, no connection--"

"The only one I have a connection with is you," Tom interrupted, staring Bill down. "Okay? That's not gonna change. But I have needs, Bill. I need to get laid. Often. My right hand isn't gonna do it."

"I hate it when you do that," Bill said in a low, hoarse voice. "You can't...it's not right, keeping love and sex separate like that. If you love only me, then--"

"You gonna have sex with me?" Tom blurted an unthinking interruption, over-loud in the quiet of their cheery white and yellow kitchen.

Bill turned his face away, biting his lip.

Tom stared a moment, willing him to answer. _That's ridiculous, Tom. Don't say something so stupid, Tom. Why would I ever want that, Tom._ After no answer appeared forthcoming, Tom hurried out of the kitchen, all but tripping over his pants. Bill was disgusted, of course he was. How could he answer that? If Tom waited any longer he would commit a truly stupid act; one he couldn't take back, one he couldn't undo.

Bill let him go without a word.

The apartment had two bedrooms of equal size that faced one another across the hall; one of the deciding criteria in choosing the place for their own. Tom sought out his, stripped, and went about showering the "stank" off. The after-impression remained.

Tom didn't feel good after sex so much as an absence of bad, a momentary lack of the hollow ache that gnawed at the core of him. Georg and Andi, even other guys, talked about the afterglow, the bliss that rose up to embrace them after sex. Tom had never experienced it. He felt worn out, relieved for an instant, irritated if the girl wanted to cuddle. Maybe it was because he wasn't in love with the girls, as Bill accused.

Tom was pretty sure it was because he already experienced a love so absolute, it left no room for anything else.

Even Bill, who knew everything else about him, couldn't know this. Bill was pure; he was looking for his true love, therefore wanted Tom to find his. There was an innocence to his needy twin that Tom could never possess again but was glad that Bill still had.

The shower sluiced away the sweat and the odor but nothing could get rid of the psychic residue. Tom washed his dreads, even, and climbed out of the shower after deciding he was in no mood for a wank. He wrapped a towel around his loins and another around his sopping dreads before returning to his bedroom.

The bedrooms area of their apartment was deserted and Tom was grateful for the momentary reprieve. It wasn't often that he rendered Bill speechless. He almost hated to do it, almost because Bill forged on and seemed to have an answer for everything and made one up if he didn't. Not quite, because there was a petty, ashamed part of him that was vengeful enough to be satisfied Bill had no answer for _this_. How could he?

Tom was the lowest of the low. When Bill had split off from him, he'd taken all the better parts. Tom was the twin, the spare, and Bill was the best of them. Somehow he still loved Tom, which only proved how good he was.

Or how love-blind, Tom told himself scornfully as he deposited himself in front of his computer desk, because Tom was no prize but Bill thought the best of everyone, including his twin. 

No matter how disgusting and lewd Tom had proved to be.

Tom shifted in his computer chair to find the most comfortable position. The towel was still slung around his dreadlocks, though unraveling, but he'd swapped out his other towel for boxers. It was warm in the apartment because Bill kept the heat turned up, running around in his little boxer-briefs and tank tops all the time.

Tom groaned as a familiar heat kindled in his belly. It hadn't even been an _hour_. He was in for the night. There was only one answer: porn.

After the laptop had warmed up, Tom opened a browser window to go through some of his favorite sites. His chat program logged itself on automatically but he ignored it; there were only a handful of people who knew his screen name, including a smaller list of girls he'd cybered with.

Tom scanned through his list of bookmarks, tongue playing idly over his lower lip as he settled deeper into his chair. Blonds, barely legals, amateur...he was trying to decide what kind of mood he was in, what would distract him best from what he couldn't have, when a chat window pinged at him.

The window opened to a single line of dialogue and a frowny face.

_u mad? :(_

Tom blinked at Bill's screen name. _don't be stupid,_ he typed in response. If anyone had a right to be mad...

After a brief pause, another inquiry popped up.

_u horny?_

There was no way Tom could reply to that. His gut lurched as though he'd taken a sudden drop on a roller coaster and he was hot, way too hot for those two words now seared into his brain. Tom's brain came unstuck as he remembered that technically he'd started it, asking Bill if _he'd_ have sex with him.

_why, u offering?_

Tom cracked his knuckles and chuckled to himself. That would shut Bill up. He'd change subjects in a hurry now, or storm into Tom's room to throw popcorn or gummies at him.

_oh, you wanna cyber?_

Tom went numb to his fingertips. "Ow!" He clapped a hand to his face. He'd gnawed his lip and a holly-bright drop of blood greeted him. He shook himself. Now Bill was playing him, seeing how far he'd go, maybe.

 _we don't do that,_ Tom typed back. He was drawing the line, same as he'd set it down for himself years ago.

 _this isn't real,_ the text flashed back quickly in the chat window. _nothing's happening, so u're not doing anything_

Tom inhaled, glancing around himself with panic rising hard enough to throttle him. He was thirteen again and discovering the joys of his dick and scared Bill would burst in on him, demanding to know what he was doing.

People had already been saying they were too close, back then. Despite that, Tom could never pull away from Bill for too long. Then they'd hit it big and Tom had found out there were people who'd thought he _was_ doing things to Bill. He'd felt as though the intense jumbled-up desires he'd spent years suppressing had been cracked right out of his skull and spread across the pavement for everyone to see.

After that, Tom had started fucking around. Bill got so angry about it, on camera and off, even to this day.

It made the ache go away for a little while and that was all Tom could ask.

There were several responses Tom could make to Bill's declaration. He could laugh it off now, forestall further agony of imagining. He could ignore the chat, close it, change the subject.

Or he could see how far Bill was willing to go.

The lure of _"it's not real_ " had been placed before him like a shining beacon. He'd turned to busty blonds so that there was nothing further from his true desire, but now he didn't have to pretend.

Tom hesitated. _u mean it?_

The window notified him that his chat partner was typing far longer than the response merited. Especially considering the words that popped up on his screen at last.

_what r u wearing?_

"Shit," Tom murmured aloud, staring at his screen in fascination. He scooted down in his chair, tipping his head and freeing his wet dreadlocks with a grunt, tossing his towel for the wire hamper on the far side of the room. He concentrated on his chat window, and on his potential response. There was a lingering worry that this was a joke, that Bill was stringing him along; that _just kidding, lol, u're so gullible_ would be the next thing to flash across his chat window.

 _boxers,_ Tom's fingers rattled out, paused, before continuing, _and nothing else._

 _nice,_ Bill responded after a short pause. _easy access._

Tom considered for a moment before prompting, _what about u?_

 _black latex underwear,_ came the reply.

 _the hell u say_ Tom shot back. He grinned. He wasn't going to add that he'd just seen Bill maybe fifteen minutes ago at the most. That would add a realistic element to this that neither of them were looking for. He was starting to get caught up in the flow of their back and forth exchanges, and even if it was a game, his rising excitement wouldn't let him quit even if that might be the better option.

"It's not real," he reminded himself. "We're not actually doing anything."

 _u don't know everything about me,_ flashed the demure response across his screen.

Tom's brows climbed up his forehead. _oh really,_ he typed back, and because only that much looked bare and kind of stupid, he added, _what kind of things u want to tell me, then?_

 _I like sexy underwear,_ Bill typed.

 _what's sexy about black latex underwear?_ Tom wanted to know.

The next response came slowly, after a long interval of typing as though Bill had started and erased his sentence several times. _It's confining, it keeps everything tucked up nice and tight._

Tom blinked several times at the screen. He had to prevent himself from saying, "I always suspected you tuck." He was descending into a layer of unreality where he was cybering not with Bill, but someone pretending to be Bill so that he could visualize it was Bill. Any details of their actual lives were verboten.

 _Is that the only thing you're wearing?_ Tom typed out, switching from netspeak to full sentences without making a conscious decision to do so.

_no, i'm wearing black lace-up boots and a belly chain._

Tom groaned aloud, tonguing at his lip ring almost brutally, making the skin stretch around the ring. He could picture it all too easily, Bill sprawled out full-length on his bed across the hall, mostly nude as he typed with an intense look of concentration on his lovely face.

Bill was so beautiful, Tom didn't understand how anyone could think they looked alike.

Without waiting for a response, Bill prompted him again. _so what do you want to do about it?_

 _we're not doing anything,_ Tom reminded him at once. He had to make that clear.

There was a brief pause before the chat window notified him that Bill was typing. Tom could all but see the eye-roll. _so what would you do if you could?_

Tom hesitated for a long time. "I can't," he said softly, and lifted a hand to shut his laptop, cut the connection, run away again – the way he had in the kitchen earlier. He'd run, as he had been running since the first spark of desire and the scared realization that he felt that way about Bill.

Before he could shut the laptop, his eye caught on a phrase higher up on the chat window. _You don't know everything about me._ Tom hesitated, and reached for the keyboard with long fingers that all but trembled.

 _what else don't I know about you?_ he typed out, gnawing thoughtfully at his lip again.

There was a beat of hesitance. At last, Bill responded, _this isn't about sharing secrets – you said you wanted to cyber, right?_

 _that's like sharing sex secrets,_ Tom returned, emboldened. He glanced down at his lap. He was half-hard and they hadn't even really done anything. It was the promise of it, the unbelievably sexy thrill at the thought of doing those things with Bill, Bill with whom he'd limited himself to strictly brotherly contact for the past five years. Tom thought a moment, and added, _telling each other what you want to do is like a secret._

 _you want me to go first?_ the words appeared on his screen, like a teasing lure. _you want me to say what I want you to do?_

 _god, are you for real?_ Tom typed before he thought.

 _this isn't real,_ Bill's words reminded him.

 _I want to know what it is you've been hiding,_ Tom replied, eyes darting over the screen. He was so fixed on the computer and over imagining Bill's pretty face, intent as he scanned Tom's words, that he had no consideration for anything else.

 _it's the same thing, tomi,_ Bill responded. There was a long pause before he began to type, stopped, and began again. **Bill has entered text,** Tom's chat window informed him.

 _please?_ Tom added, brow crinkled in intense fascination.

_i want you to fuck me._

Tom gasped out loud. He couldn't help but groan, reaching down to palm himself through his boxers. It was what he wanted so badly, and here it was appearing before him like something out of his dreams. How could it be true?

It's not, he reminded himself. It's not real. That was why it was all right for him to do this, to touch himself and think of Bill, at least, because nothing more was happening. With a fumbling hand, he managed one-handed, _that is so hot._ He wanted something a little more enthusiastic, something to really express how cock-leaping incredibly sexy that statement had been, way more of a tease and lure than anything any girl had ever said to him before.

 _you wanna?_ the text prompted him, and Tom licked at his lip, grinning a bit and hearing his brother's underlying plea for reassurance in the saucy question.

Tom had to start and discard several responses before he settled on the right one, eager but not too desperate, noncommittal but not dismissing. _everyone wants to. I'd have to be dead not to want to._

 _I'm not asking about everyone,_ the response snapped back at once. _wanna know what you want to do._

 _if we were doing anything,_ Tom reminded him.

 _right,_ came back, with slowness. _it's not real, tomi. so what do you want?_

 _lots and lots of sex,_ Tom replied.

 _you always want sex,_ Bill shot back.

Tom hesitated. "It's not real," he said aloud to reinforce himself, and confessed, _lots of sex with you. so much you'd be sore. so much you'd beg me to stop._

 _i'd only ever beg for more,_ the response came, and Tom groaned.

He pressed the heel of his palm to his erection again, before wondering why he was trying to quiet it. Bill was basically doing everything he could to get Tom to jack off to the thought of him. Licking his lips again, Tom rubbed an idle hand over his cock.

 _so what's the dirtiest thing you want to do?_ Tom asked, rubbing himself through his boxers. His hand moved up and down from the hot, damp head that was spreading wetness through the fabric to the thickness of the base. He gripped himself and stared at the screen, knowing he was one step away from jerking it no matter what Bill's fantasies turned out to be.

 _you should tell me,_ Bill countered. _I told you what I wanted first, so..._

Tom stared at the screen, moistening his lower lip with his tongue. He rubbed an idle hand over his cock, trying to decide how to answer that. Wasn't it enough that he'd as much told his twin he wanted to have sex with him?

 _something you wanted but wouldn't even let yourself think maybe?_ Bill's onscreen words prompted him.

Tom gnawed at his lip again. There were so many things, of course. It was only, even knowing this was cyber sex and not real, there was a hesitation within him to cross the line with words onscreen, despite the fact that he was fondling himself through his boxers.

 _fine,_ Bill typed, apparently tired of waiting for Tom to confess. _i'd make you eat me._

Tom blinked stupefaction at the screen. His face went numb, until an intense tingling swept through him, bringing with it a dismaying heat the likes of which he hadn't felt in years. His fingers twitched over the keyboard for a moment and he groaned as he set the heel of his hand into his cock again, digging in with a firmer pressure. He had to pause over the visual that sprang into his head, burying his face in the crease of Bill's little ass, nuzzling in between the tempting globes of those minimal curves.

He gasped at the jolt that thought brought to his cock, and rubbed himself through his shorts again as he pictured sending his tongue questing out; the first hot lick...

 _you want me to tongue your ass?_ Tom rephrased it, beginning to stroke himself through his boxers as he fumbled one-handed with his keyboard.

 _so much,_ Bill's response came to him, followed by, _it's so dirty, I know_

 _i bet you'd taste good,_ Tom typed back, breathing harder, biting at his lip.

 _what do you want, what's your fantasy?_ Bill wanted to know.

Tom didn't even have to think about it. It took him a while to type it one-handed, though.

 _I want to come on your face,_ Tom typed, and lounged back away from the keyboard, running the tip of his tongue over his mouth. There was virtual silence from Bill.

Tom could picture it so clearly. Even without closing his eyes, which he'd done when he'd played out the scenario with the girls who'd gone down on him. He could see Bill framed between his thighs, on his knees with Tom's cock aimed at his mouth, come spurting out to caress that gorgeous face. It was so vivid that Tom's cock was leaking in his boxers only thinking about it. He reached down to rub it, growing anxious over Bill's prolonged silence.

 _Is that all?_ Bill's response appeared onscreen.

Tom groaned and pushed his boxers down, gripping himself in trembling fingers. He was visualizing himself pushing his cock-head into Bill's mouth so clearly he could come on the spot.

 _want to wipe it around your mouth with my cock,_ Tom typed, emboldened by Bill's understated response to get more detailed.

 _wanna taste you that way,_ Bill's response appeared, much faster than Tom's had taken. He was probably using both hands.

Tom grinned and licked his lips. _so i'm here in my chair in nothing but my boxers, what r u gonna do?_

_dreads up or loose?_

_loose_

_good, then I don't have to make you take them down._

Tom grinned. _that's it?_

_no way, that's just to start. Next I'll get down on my knees and run my nails up your thighs._

"That's nice," Tom said aloud, knowing he loved the touch of Bill's fingers above and beyond any other. He closed his eyes a moment, imagining that touch skimming, both teasing and inciting, up his inner thighs. _feels so good,_ Tom added in chat. _i like u touching me_

 _i love the way your skin feels...it's so soft but firm here, I can feel the muscles jump under my fingertips,_ Bill continued, perhaps taking his cue from Tom and switching to present tense.

 _love the way you touch me,_ Tom responded, pulling his cock up and rubbing it slowly in one hand, lining it up between his belly and the waistband of his boxers. He ran a thumb around the head of it, slowly spreading the first drops of moisture around.

 _I'm pulling your boxers off and I do it nice and slow, I want to unwrap your cock like a present,_ the text appeared, making Tom lick his lips again.

He thumbed at the waistband of his boxers, freeing his cock a little more. There were several remarks he could make in response to that, from sentimental reminiscence over Bill being _his_ best present up to and including something ridiculously arrogant about how his cock really was a present on the order of God's gift to man.

 _I look down at your face, your eyes and the way you're looking at me from between my legs,_ Tom typed, imagining that very thing. He palmed his cock again, promising it relief in a moment. They were weaving the scene around them, so thoroughly that Tom glanced down and saw Bill's dark brown eyes peeking up shyly at him as he braced himself against one of Tom's thighs.

 _your cock is so big, so hard,_ Bill's text appeared on the chat window. _I reach up for it but put my hand on your hip and nuzzle your thigh._

 _it's big cuz you made it get that hard,_ Tom typed out, enthralled. He could feel the weight of Bill's hand on his skin, the nudge of his nose against Tom's thigh. He'd imagined it before but never let himself get so far; not so detailed as this both in print and visualization.

 _I touch you, the tip of you, and it's so wet,_ Bill replied. _I spread it around with my thumb and make little circles._

Tom groaned and grasped at his cock, thumbing it the way Bill was telling him. _feels good, your hand on me is amazing, skin soft but grip strong_ He knew all too well what a nice firm touch Bill would have and shifted his grip to push his cock up into the tunnel of his fingers.

_I reach up to kiss it but I pull back, I wanna tease you, I open my mouth and look up at you. Lips open wide enough to show you tongue stud._

Tom stared at the text onscreen and licked at his lips. He knew what Bill wanted him to do, and it made his balls tight, his whole cock throbbing.

 _I reach down and grab your hair, and push the head against your bottom lip,_ Tom responded. He moaned and thumbed the leaking tip of his cock again. He could barely wank, he was so into waiting for the next response, so pent up over what Bill would say next and what he'd say in exchange. They were doling out little pieces of themselves, the hidden desires they'd never shared, never spoken.

It wasn't real.

Tom bit his lip as he waited through an agonizing spate of typing.

 _I reach out and lick the tip,_ Bill told him. _Just the tip, getting all the wetness there, only more keeps coming._

 _Because I'm so turned on,_ Tom typed back. He eased his hand over his cock and pressed his thumb against the slit of his cock. It was indeed flowing copiously as Bill had predicted. He swiped again and again and more kept coming.

 _I suck the tip into my mouth and try pressing the stud against the crease at the tip,_ Bill continued.

Tom's cock twitched and he couldn't contain the little cry that jolted free of him. _I want you to suck it so much. I push it into your mouth._

_I suck it, I suck it and it tastes so good, I wish I could do it all the time for you, just the two of us, you don't need to fuck around when you can do it with me._

Tom groaned, but not from arousal this time. He pulled his hand away from his cock and thought about this one before composing his reply. It was crossing the line, though.

This, what he was saying now, was real.

 _Did you ever think maybe I fuck around so much I'm trying to exhaust myself so I won't have anything to bring home?_ Tom hesitated before continuing. _So I won't have any left where I absolutely shouldn't?_

Silence from Bill, and this time Tom was sure he'd trespassed too far. He blew out a huge sigh of relief when the window informed him Bill was typing again.

 _I want you to put it in my mouth,_ Bill typed, resuming the chat as though there had been no pause. _I want to suck it, make you feel so good, and then I want you to put it in me, Tomi._

Tom's breathing roughened and he grabbed his cock again. _After I eat you out?_

 _I don't know if I can wait that long,_ Bill's response came fast. _After having you in my mouth like that I'm gonna want you so bad I need you in me right away._

 _maybe I'm not going to give you a choice,_ Tom typed back, rutting against his hand with a low groan. He pulled his hand away from his cock to finish, _I pick you up and toss you on the bed, I'm going to have my way with you_

 _mmm, I love it, I love the way you show me you're so strong,_ Bill's response came back fairly quick.

Tom's breath came in pants as he eased his hand over his cock, reading the text of Bill's response and pondering his own answer. _wanna show you how strong I am,_ Tom typed, shook his head, and continued. _gonna pin you down onto the bed and kiss you everywhere_ He tipped his head back with a groan, tongue working his lip and the edge of his lip ring as he imagined it.

_yeah, I want you to_

Tom imagined pale, bare skin spread out before him as he replied, _gonna pin you on your back first, kiss your stomach and your hips_

_I like that, I like it so much. I want you to kiss me there_

_Gonna spread your thighs and kiss down those, too, the little veins that show through your pale skin, kiss down further, tease you good_

_your mouth feels so good on my skin, I love it. I want you to kiss **everywhere**_

_you want me to kiss it?_

_I want you to kiss it so much. the tip's so red, it's leaking, my cock is so hard_

_I bend down to kiss it and press my lips to the hot, hot skin right next to it, between your cock and your thigh_

_you're such a tease, fucking tease, I push my hips up and reach down to grab your hair_

_uh-uh, not the hair. I grab your hands and pin them to your hips. You can touch yourself but you're not gonna rush me, not when I've got what I want._

_I moan and arch my back 'cause I want it so bad, your mouth is right there and why aren't you doing anything with it?_

_you're too hot, you're making me breathe too fast. wanna take it slow, don't want to work myself up to much, don't want to hurt you_

_you couldn't, I want to do anything, everything you want to do_

_I push your legs up so I've got a good view of everything_

_I can't stop looking, looking at your face down there between my legs, it's so hot and we haven't even done anything yet_

_you're hot, your skin is so hot when I rub my face down there, it's almost scary_

_want it so much all I can do is moan, I try to reach for you again_

_I let your hands go and grab your ass, spreading it with both hands and kissing the skin below your balls_

_I moan again, no one's done that for me and it feels so good, your mouth on the hairless skin down there_

_it's so nice, I like it when the skin is all smooth, makes it all sexy. I kiss down to your hole and it smells good, clean, like sex_

_I got all clean for you in the shower, I wanted this so bad_

_I lick down into your crease and taste you_

_It feels so good, I try to push down on you_

_I've got a good grip of your ass, your legs, and you're not going anywhere. I lick it really good, get it good and wet_

_I love it, my moans are so loud now, I'm going to scream or explode or both_

_Your ass is so hot, so wet, tastes so good. I stick my tongue in there and want to keep doing it, love those little noises you're making, I could do this forever_

_mm, but I'll come, and I want you to be in me, won't you get in me, fuck me, really make me feel it?_

_I'll finger you first, lick my finger and just stick it in, you're already so relaxed and open and it goes right in_

_feels so good it makes me yell, but I want more_

_I've got more, I'll give it to you, give it all to you_

_I grab my legs and hold them up, whimpering and trying to push down against you, I want to show you how ready I am for more_

_wanna give you two fingers now_

_want your dick_

Tom stared at the chat log for a long moment. His eyes pricked. He was steadily jacking his cock in between answering increasingly hot chat action from Bill, and yet this was it. As soon as the session was over, he'd have to erase the evidence as though it had never been.

 _Tomi? What do you want?_ Bill's words blinked back at him.

 _I want it, I want you,_ Tom typed, and began to tease his foreskin back and forth again, breathing heavily as he jerked his cock in a firm hand. _Want everything, so bad. All of you._

He waited, then risked himself further, venturing toward forbidden truth by typing, _I want you, Bill. More than anything._

He was so focused on waiting for a response, eyes fixed on the screen and tongue screwing into his lip ring, hand on his cock, that the slow swing of the door came as a shock on the order of terrifying.

"You mean it?" Bill breathed from the doorway, huge-eyed and not wearing anything remotely like what he'd claimed. He was in a pair of his skimpy boxer briefs and one of Tom's over-sized hoodies, a hoodie that Tom thought he'd lost weeks ago. It fell below mid-thigh on him, and if not for the fact the hoodie was unzippered to reveal an expanse of pale skin, Tom wouldn't have known he was wearing underwear at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Shocked, Tom began stuffing himself back into his boxers.

"Don't," Bill pleaded. "Don't hide it. I like seeing it, knowing you really want _me_..."

"I do want you," Tom blurted, unable to stop himself. "But, Bill..."

"I don't want to be protected, or put up on a pedestal, or left alone in my room while you go out and fuck girl after girl," Bill said, his dark eyes sparking as his brows furrowed. One hand clutched at the front of the hoodie he was wearing, drawing it closed over Bill's thin chest.

Tom's eye moved down from that fine-knuckled hand down the delineation of slight muscles beneath pale skin, and to the lump at the front of his briefs. Bill hadn't been joking; he really was as turned on by this as Tom. He couldn't say anything, only worked his lip with an anxious tongue as he half-covered himself with a hand.

Bill moved further into the room, shuffling the door shut with a bare foot, letting the hoodie go as he approached Tom with his eyes gone dark and unreadable.

Tom almost recognized that shuttered look on his face but wouldn't let himself. "What--" he began, intending to ask where they would go from here.

Bill stood right before him, hands lax on his own thighs, before he knelt in front of Tom in a quick, lithe movement. He balanced himself on Tom's knees and pushed his legs apart, making a space for himself.

"Oh, god," Tom uttered, and clamped teeth on his lips.

"We don't believe," Bill murmured, flicking an arch glance upward before lifting Tom's hand aside. Tom's erect cock was flush against his thigh, long and hard where he hadn't managed to tuck himself back into his boxers, only cup himself with his hand in an attempt at modesty.

 _It's not real,_ the thought swam in Tom's brain; he was giddy, almost like spinning in place from vertigo as he watched Bill's gaze turn downward to appraise him. Equal portions of lust and apprehension ran thick in his veins, clotting his sense, leaving him helpless to do anything but sit there and _feel._

"So nice, so much better than I imagined," Bill breathed, his tongue playing out over his lip. The bead of his tongue stud was barely visible.

"You've seen it before," Tom said, embarrassed. He cut his gaze to one side, then the other. The open laptop mocked him with the chat window and the trap Bill had lured him into, yet he couldn't regret it. He reached out and shut the lid.

"Not like this," Bill assured him, and caressed Tom's thighs with both hands, making the muscles jump beneath his attentions. "Not hard like this, not so big."

Tom couldn't help but give a quick, incredulous grin in response to that.

Bill brushed his hair back with an unsteady hand, making Tom reach down and twine his fingers into the hair at one side of his face, his paralysis breaking at last.

"You don't have to do this," Tom said, quiet with worry, seeing Bill tremble and intuiting fear because he was so scared, himself.

"I want to, I want this so much," Bill whispered. He leaned over Tom's thighs and licked his lips before opening his mouth.

The lines of their aborted cyber session flashed through Tom's mind a moment before caressing breath stroked up the underside of his cock. He groaned even before a tongue emerged to swipe along the length of him, tentative pressure increasing to a firm lick from base to tip.

"Ahh, Bill," Tom sighed, sinking both hands into Bill's hair and giving in at last, his tension bleeding out along with the last of his resistance.

This _was_ happening, and he no longer needed to deny that he wanted it.

"Tomi," Bill murmured, and suckled the tip of Tom's cock between wet lips.

Tom gasped, the thread of desire drawing taut, his eager cock twitching as though to push itself further where Bill was enclosing it almost teasingly just within his mouth. The tip of a limber tongue flicked over him, gathering up the fluid that flowed from the slit of Tom's dick.

"So good," Bill pulled his mouth back to moan. He draped an arm over one of Tom's thighs and handled his cock upright, tapping it against his full bottom lip.

Tom sucked in a deliciously pained breath at the sight and lifted his hips, pushing the head of his dick back into Bill's plush mouth. He was shocked at how hard he was, how ready to go forward with this, but Bill was poised before him, tonguing the head of his cock, and the only thought for resistance that Tom had left was incredulity that he'd held out this long. 

He'd held out because they _shouldn't._ So why was he letting this happen now?

"We can't," Tom breathed, counterpoint to the leap of startled excitement jetting through his veins. "Bill, Bill; we can't, it's not..."

Bill lifted his head, popping up off his cock. "I'll let you come in my mouth," he promised, flicking his tongue out over the tip of Tom's cock as pre-come dribbled forth. "I'll let you come wherever you want; my face, whatever you want, just let me..."

Tom sobbed out a breath and stroked through Bill's layered hair, unable to respond with anything more coherent. _I love you, I'm sorry, no, let **me**..._ Taking it for agreement, Bill lapped at the head of his cock before closing his mouth over it again, rolling his lips down and going smoothly all the way until he had Tom cradled against the back of his throat.

As Bill went down on him, an array of panicked thoughts were bouncing around Tom's skull. _Who've you done this for before; I'll kill them; don't stop; I want to be the one..._ He got stuck on that last with painful regularity as he watched Bill bob steadily up and down, his hand closing the distance from his mouth over the rest of Tom's red, now saliva-wet cock. _I want to be the only one to do this with you._

"Really?" Bill asked, backing off and giving Tom shining eyes.

"Fuck, did I say that out loud?" Tom groaned. "Bill..." He couldn't keep his hands out of Bill's hair, though; couldn't keep his twin's mouth off his dick, and definitely wasn't strong enough to keep this from happening.

"Don't say no again," Bill said, but his face had already fallen as though Tom was attempting to refuse him again. This was how Bill always got what he wanted, the thought intruded; Tom hated seeing him down for any reason but when Tom himself was the cause, it was the worst.

"Are you actually a virgin?" Tom asked him bluntly. "I know you're probably not, with women, but--"

"That was a lie," Bill said, soft and resentful-sounding as he draped himself over Tom's knees and nuzzled his wet erection. "You'd done it and you were so fucking proud of yourself, I wasn't going to let you be the only one."

Tom gaped down at him. "You never slept with your girlfriend?" He was staggered. His had been the first lie, the prod to get them going, because he'd suspected even then that they were unnaturally attached. They'd never wanted to do anything without each other. So he'd kissed Mieke and bragged about making out with her for hours, getting to second base, then all the way...they hadn't dated very long but it was enough and Bill hadn't spoken to him for weeks but he'd turned up at a band practice oh so casually talking about doing it with Ana... From that point on, Bill and Ana had been joined at the hip up until the day they'd gotten signed with Universal.

"It never..." Bill flushed. He laid his head along Tom's thigh. "I never wanted to do anything but hold hands with girls. You're the one who wanted more."

"Yeah," Tom said, overcome with the sense that he stood at the edge of a perilous cliff as he continued, "but not with girls."

Bill looked up quickly through his sinfully thick lashes.

"I needed...something," Tom concluded. "If I couldn't have you I needed to do something with it, you know? And it was always there, so painful. Hungry."

"Always wanting more," Bill agreed, making a low noise and rubbing his cheek against the long muscle in Tom's thigh.

Tom swallowed hard and stroked Bill's cheek. He reached down to grip his cock, still painfully hard. All these years and Bill was still the answer to the question he'd tried not to contemplate.

"I want you," Bill said, looking up directly at Tom. "I always have. It's you and me, Tom. Won't you let _me?_ "

Tom hesitated, his thumb moving back and forth over the tip of his dick. He wanted to, he almost...but he knew it was bad, if not necessarily bad for _them_ , wrong by so many measures.

"Let me have what you want to give to everyone, anyone else?" Bill summed up, his eyes huge and desperate. He made a soft sound as he rubbed against Tom's thigh again, the tips of his manicured nails latching on, and the noise went straight to Tom's cock. "It hurts..."

"It's because I don't want to hurt you," Tom interrupted, closing his eyes against Bill's anguished expression. God, he was so weak. "It's too much, can't you see that? Only if it's not real can I let myself have it..." He could hear the words of Bill's response before he'd even said them. He could see the answer rising up on Bill's face as he opened his eyes.

"It's hurting me more not to have you," Bill whispered. His upraised face was an offering; his eyes were an open wound as he stared up at Tom in challenge and plea all wrapped in one. "It's tearing me up, I'm screaming inside, always, so loud I think you can hear it, sometimes..."

"Or maybe it's me screaming, too," Tom finished for him. He groaned low in his throat and fumbled with his cock again, smoothing a thumb down the aching length of it. "Bill, Bill..."

"Let me," Bill whispered, reaching for his cock again. "Let me, oh God, Tom, let me; I want it, I need _you_..."

Tom moaned as Bill closed slender fingers over his. Together they jerked over the unbearable hardness of Tom's cock.

"You want to come in my mouth?" Bill was saying, drawing the head of Tom's cock toward his lips again.

Tom pushed his hips forward, dragging the tip of his dick over one corner of those beautiful lips that had played a starring role in his fantasies for too long. "No," he whispered.

"Tommmm," Bill drew the sound of his name out, beautiful even in his complaint.

"You said wherever I want," Tom said, hand stilling. He had no breath left within him as he stared intensely down at Bill.

"Oh," Bill whispered, and squirmed, and ducked his head.

Tom grabbed at his chin with strong fingers. "Are you a virgin?" he repeated softly.

"Is that going to stop you from doing me?" Bill demanded, raising bold eyes that appeared to have all the intention of telling Tom 'no' if it would prevent him from getting what they both wanted.

Tom held his gaze steadily a moment. If there was a Hell, surely this wouldn't qualify him. There was no one like Bill, no comparison to anyone like Bill, therefore he could never sleep with anyone the way he'd be together with Bill. "No," Tom said with deliberation.

Instead of lighting up, Bill's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

He still didn't get it. Tom relaxed into his chair. _He'd_ made his decision now, from which there was no going back. It was as though all the pieces of his life up through this moment were slotting into place in a single intuitive burst of realization. This was real because he was making it real, and now he was going to enjoy it.

"Suck me," Tom commanded, jaw flexing as he looked down at Bill's sulky face. "Suck my cock. Now."

Bill's eyes widened and a flush spread over the bridge of his nose, his foundation-free cheeks, fanning outward toward his temples. "Really?"

In answer, Tom settled into his chair more deeply, spreading his legs and taking Bill's balance out from under him. Bill dipped forward with a startled little cry and Tom was there to take advantage, nudging his cock against the full lower line of Bill's mouth.

He'd never done it with Bill before, but he knew his twin. The abortive cyber session from earlier had told him more than Bill might want him to know about this. Bill liked to be teased, cajoled...even _persuaded._

With a pleased hum, Bill accepted the head of Tom's cock between his lips and began licking at the frenulum with quick little stripes of his tongue, all but driving Tom crazy. Tom reached down to cradle the base of Bill's skull in one hand.

"All the way down," he commanded, pulsing his hips up to provide an example.

Bill made a protesting noise in his throat, the action revolving his tongue and epiglottis around the tip of Tom's dick and all but making Tom's eyes roll back in his head at the sensation. Despite the murmur, Bill went down easily enough, taking Tom until it appeared as though he'd choke. Instead of that, though, his eyes fluttered and he swallowed.

Tom stared down at Bill's face, eyes half-closed and cheeks hollowed, as his little brother deep-throated him. "Who the hell--" Tom started, and clenched his fists on his thighs. He groaned as Bill went back and forth before pulling off, coughing with a harsh edge as though he'd taken too deep a drag of smoke.

"What?" Bill managed, eyes watering.

"Who the fuck taught you to do that?" Tom wanted to know, trying to push back the homicidal thoughts because he wasn't going to get laid if he got them both upset.

A furrow appeared between Bill's brows. "What? No one."

"Like hell," Tom retorted, but he was stroking through Bill's hair to try and show him he wasn't mad, not at him. "People don't deep-throat like that their first time, Bill."

"Well apparently, I can," Bill shot back, giving Tom his compressed pissy lips that ended in one of two things; the silent treatment, or Tom okaying a Dior shopping spree. "I read Vogue, okay? And you know I've never had much of a gag reflex."

"Okay," Tom decided at last, petting Bill's hair again.

"Do you want this blowjob or not?" Bill demanded, squeezing Tom's cock in his hand.

"Yes?" Tom ventured.

Bill rolled his eyes, so very _Bill_ as he bent to nuzzle at Tom's cock before sucking on the tip again that it made Tom want to laugh with relief. They could do this and not change; they could deepen their relationship and still be brothers.

He supposed he'd been so afraid of ruining everything they already had together that he couldn't let himself even contemplate it could be the same but _more_.

Bill went down on him again, taking Tom's cock nearly down his throat with such a pleasured look on his face that Tom thought he could get off on that alone. Tom watched his cock disappear between Bill's lips and reappear, wet with Bill's spit and hard, so hard he could come right now and keep going, he was sure of it. He was falling into a kind of daze as Bill jacked his cock fast before easing back into slow, languorous strokes, his eyes turning up to fix Tom with a dark, knowing sort of look.

He pulled off, breathing harder. He re-settled himself on his knees and circled the knob of his tongue stud over Tom's aching tip.

"You want to come in my ass?" he said, so matter of fact about it that Tom groaned.

"Shit, Bill..."

Bill arched a brow. "Don't tell me you're backing out, now," he challenged, draping his arms over Tom's thighs again. He dragged his cheek along Tom's cock, turning his head to give it an open-mouthed kiss with more than a fair share of tongue.

"Ahh," Tom groaned, reaching down to tug on Bill's ear only to get his hand smacked, hard.

"Don't," Bill warned, his eyes black with anger.

"Get up here," Tom said, grinning down at his infuriating, sexy, wonderfully persistent little brother.

"Oh!" Bill murmured, and scrambled up off his knees. He deposited himself across Tom's thighs, wriggling in his lap and gasping as Tom's cock nestled against the hardness still prisoned in his briefs.

"You want it?" Tom said, low-voiced, as Bill brought his swollen lips within tempting range. He eased his hands up and down the smoothness of Bill's naked back beneath the hoodie.

"Mm, have I not been clear enough?" Bill murmured, plastering himself against Tom's front. He was so close, enough that if Tom were to lift his chin they'd be kissing.

Tom lifted his chin.

There was a quick intake of breath smothered by Tom's mouth; a widening of Bill's eyes before thick lashes fanned shut. Tom kissed Bill slow and sweet the way he'd never let himself; these were kisses he'd reserved for no one, because he'd thought he would never get Bill.

Bill moaned softly against his mouth, parting his lips and kissing back.

Tom rubbed his hand over Bill's back a few times before settling both his hands at the base of Bill's spine, fanning out over the back of his pelvis and the tiny curves below. He wanted to slip those cotton briefs down and stroke skin but he let Bill set the pace for now. Bill was keeping it leisurely, their kisses heavy but open-mouthed, lips meshing and pressing hard enough to send new tingles of sensation through Tom each time they joined. Bill breathed hotly into his mouth and tormented him with the possibility of his flickering tongue, hovering just out of range as their mouths met and left one another and met again.

"Oh, I...ohh," Bill sighed, pulling back to regard Tom with hazy eyes. "You could kiss me like that for hours."

"I could," Tom agreed, picturing it, kissing Bill until he was a pliant tangle of limbs all but purring in Tom's lap. He palmed two handfuls of buttock. "If that's what you want."

Bill produced a low "nnnh" and flexed against him. Through two layers of thin fabric Tom could feel his dick twitch against him and Tom opened his mouth, not sure what he wanted but the word _more_ was going to feature prominently.

Hooking his hands at Tom's nape, Bill leaned forward and ran a bold tongue over Tom's lower lip before thrusting it into his mouth.

They kissed again, harder, bringing tongues into play this time. Tom moaned as Bill worked his tongue back and forth, pushing between Tom's lips, luring Tom's tongue into his mouth. He was being seduced most plainly, and he'd never enjoyed it so much.

He sucked on Bill's tongue and palmed his ass and ground up against him until he couldn't stand it anymore. Bill was wrapped around him, all long arms and skinny torso and the length of endless legs and it wasn't enough because it wasn't _everything_. He pulled back, panting, groaning low in his throat when Bill kissed and licked at the corner of his mouth like he couldn't get enough.

"Bill-" he started.

"Don't say it, if you're going to say we can't, I don't want to hear it," Bill mumbled, nipping his chin.

Tom cracked a smile, barely. "Get on the bed."

"Now?" Bill said, eager.

Tom snickered. "No, about five minutes after we come in our shorts."

"Okay, now!" Bill stated, popping to his feet with the most adorably excited look on his face. He seemed about three years younger for that instant.

A twinge of regret went through Tom, fleeting then gone. He was made up of need, a skin over scintillating desire, and Bill was begging him for it; giving into what they could make between them was making him so happy.

Bill shrugged off Tom's hoodie as he went, slanting a coy glance over one shoulder, dark eyes brimming with excitement. "Tom..."

"That's nice," Tom husked, getting to his feet and sliding his boxers all the way off. He kicked them to the side as he moved toward the bed and Bill scrambled fully onto the bed, turning to face Tom with his lips parted and kiss-flushed, his eyes dilated. Tom lifted his head a bit. "Take them off."

He was a little stunned and a lot aroused when Bill complied instantly, pushing his boxer-briefs down with both hands.

He was so used to Bill being the bossy-pants in their relationship, to see him instantly obey _and_ strip himself was a head rush. In a flash, Tom was headed for the bed and his naked brother, tipping him onto his back and making him squeak before he covered Bill with his own naked body and made him _moan._

"Yes, yes," Bill said against his mouth as Tom did his best to rub every bit of his naked skin against Bill's, up to and including between his legs.

"Ahh," Tom panted, helpless in thrall to this, to Bill's bare everything, the way he'd never been to anything. It was Bill, always Bill and it always had been. He lined their cocks up with a shaky hand and stroked the skin of Bill's hip.

He couldn't stop moving; running his hands over Bill's skin, so utterly soft and touchable; nudging his twitching cock up alongside Bill's; kissing his mouth, his cheekbone, his jaw. Bill was gasping underneath him and grabbing at his shoulders, crooning something that could have been "mine, mine" or "more, more."

Tom rutted up against him a moment, expending the first edge of his desperation in rubbing and touching as though learning Bill all over again.

"You feel so good, so so good," Bill whispered against his mouth. "So much better than I imagined."

"How long have you been imagining this?" Tom ventured boldly.

"Oh God," Bill said, averting his face as his cheekbones pinked.

"It's not going to shock me," Tom said, easing the weight of himself to the side while keeping as much of himself spread against Bill as possible. If it was possible for someone to have been touch-starved even while getting laid as much as he had, Tom was feeling it now. He couldn't get enough of Bill's skin; the way he smelled; the softness of his hips and his belly and his thighs and his side beneath the pads of Tom's fingertips. He stroked his cock alongside Bill's, aligning them, admiring how they were the same and the tiny ways in which they were different.

"Ugh, since I was about...twelve?" Bill confessed, his lips twitching against Tom's as Tom leaned in to pursue another kiss. "I don't think I ever thought about sex without thinking about you. I tried and it never...I couldn't." He pursed his lips and shook his head.

"That's why you got so mad," Tom said, leaning in and nuzzling Bill's jaw. "Whenever I was with girls, it hurt that I could do that with them?"

Bill's brow pinched and he writhed forward, twining himself in Tom's arms until they were pressed full length on their sides together. Bill nuzzed the tips of their noses together. "No, you're different from me, it's okay that you're different," he replied. "But it hurt me that I wanted something so badly that I couldn't have."

"Not for real?" Tom teased. He grunted a bit as Bill pushed his hips forward, his cock rubbing against Tom's.

Bill trembled, eyes shivering shut. "Now it's real," he breathed. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I think you know what I want to do," Tom replied. He reached down to grab Bill's butt. Bill trembled harder, pushing against him again and showing Tom exactly how much that turned him on.

"Say it, I want you to say it." Bill's words poured out of him in a moan, but it was less demand and more entreaty.

"I want to fuck you," Tom whispered, closing his own eyes and swallowing convulsively. He traced a finger down into Bill's tiny cleft, finding and fingering the hot little place where they could be joined. "I want to push my cock in here, and make you feel good, make you come, and I'll give it to you."

"Yes, yes," Bill whimpered, writhing against him. "Want it, God, Tomi, want you to give it to me."

"It'll feel so good," Tom said, kissing Bill again, parting his lips with hungry teeth and tongue. He fingered Bill dry until Bill was squirming. "I'll make it feel good."

Bill was panting, his eyes dark with arousal. "I know you will," he returned, clenching his arm around Tom's neck and easing their groins together, slow build-up to a hasty rhythm that made them both moan. "So long as you can blow your load in me and not all over me." The statement had a rising inflection, a challenge, and Bill's eyes sparkled as he bit his lip, regarding Tom with a heady mixture of lust and amusement.

"You telling me to get on with it?" Tom wanted to know, fingering Bill a little more roughly.

Bill groaned through his bitten lip, squeezing his butt-cheeks down on Tom like a trap. "I'm saying I want to have sex," he stated outright. "You going to have sex with me, Tomi, or should I go back to my lonely laptop?"

Tom growled and rolled Bill onto his back. "If I've got you right here, why go back to cybering?"

"I could go cyber someone else..."

Tom stopped, poised in the act of spreading Bill's legs and discovering how delightfully bendy Bill was as he prodded at the flushed peachy-dark pucker of his entrance. "No, nobody ever again," he said seriously.

Bill hooked a leg over his shoulder. "There never was anybody else for me," he said, so sweetly it made Tom's heart overturn in his chest.

Tom tipped his head to one side, nuzzling his dreads against the inside of Bill's knee.

"Now, are we going to do this?" Bill demanded, and the return of Tom's bossy little brother resurfaced in the needy rise of his hips and the flare of hunger in his eyes.

Grinning down at him, Tom recognized the underlying nervousness masked by Bill's sudden resurgence of eagerness. He palmed Bill's star with his hand, stroking there a moment before grasping the length of Bill's cock and tongued at his lip as he jacked Bill in long, steady pulls.

"Ah...ahh!" Bill gasped, thrashing. "Nnnh, do that later, do it when you're _in_ me."

Tom petted Bill's hip with reverent fingers. "Okay, I need to get up." He was kneeling between Bill's spread legs and the tip of his cock was just barely touching Bill's ass, and already he could just about die of excitement. He was mentally, even physically ready to breach Bill, but there were a few things they needed.

Bill pouted at him. "What more do you need, besides me?"

"Lube," Tom began, trying to remember if he had any. Lubricated condoms didn't count. "Condoms. Towels."

Bill's face fell.

"What?" Tom wanted to know, upset already by that crestfallen little expression. There were some things that were non-negotiable. He didn't mind making a mess of his bedding, but he wasn't going in dry; he'd hurt them both.

"What's wrong?" Tom turned his head; kissed Bill's knee.

"I want to feel you inside me," Bill whispered, locking eyes with Tom.

"Baby, you're going to feel me," Tom assured, crawling over Bill until he could settle his weight on him again. He stroked Bill's hair away from his already-perspiring neck and kissed up from there, chaining little kisses along his jaw.

"I want to feel it when you come," Bill elaborated.

Tom shuddered, and the jolt went through both of their bodies. "God," he said hoarsely.

"Didn't you just get tested?" Bill prompted him. "You're clean, or you would've told me."

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Come in me," Bill urged, wrapping his legs over Tom's ass and rocking up against him. "Inside me, in me; I want to feel it, Tom, and I know you want it, too..."

Tom had to push himself up away from Bill's seductive entreaty. "In three months," he said, licking his lips as he looked down at Bill spread open for him and waiting. "Wait a little bit for me, okay? We can wait for that a little longer, I've already kept you waiting this long..."

"Okay," Bill gave in, but his eyes were intense in a way that let Tom know his brother would be making that follow-up appointment for him _tomorrow_. He let his legs fall open again. "Don't be long."

Tom had to groan as he got up onto his knees; Bill was stroking himself, one manicured hand with his white-tipped black nails cupping and pinching at a nipple, the other hand resting low on his hip. It took everything Tom had to pry himself out of bed from _that_ , when all his instincts were urging him to rub his sweaty naked body against Bill's and thrust between Bill's thighs until they both came. Then they'd do it all over again, because once wasn't nearly enough.

There was lube stashed away in a drawer somewhere and Tom tried to kill his last memory of using _that_. There were plenty of girls who would do anal for Tom Kaulitz, but this was an experience on an entirely different plane of existence so far as Tom was concerned. He grabbed some towels, glanced at his wrecked expression in the bathroom mirror, asked himself if he was really going to do this – the answer was yes, yes he was – and dug out his box of condoms, carrying everything with him to the bed.

"Oh my God," he said, upon returning to the bedroom. The box of condoms dropped from his lax grip, a ribbon of foil-encased latex spilling to the floor.

Bill was still on his back but he'd pulled both legs up to his shoulders. One hand was down _there_ , the tip of a manicured finger grazing his entrance, while the other hand was wrapped around his cock and stroking pendulum steady. Bill's tongue was screwed against his lip and his eyes were open, smoky as he stared directly at Tom.

"Come here," Bill invited.

It took two tries for Tom to retrieve the condoms, because he couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight of Bill. Naked, splayed out for him, and ready for the sex they were going to have; more than that excitement, Bill was _beautiful_. He was equal parts wanton and vulnerable. Tom wanted to crawl in beside him and hold him...and do a great deal more.

As Tom tossed the box of condoms to the unoccupied pillow, Bill's head turned and a brief look of distaste crossed his features. "How many times do you think we're going to have sex?" He sounded curious rather than appalled or amused, as though it was a reality – as if Tom really could fuck his brother that day, that weekend, until they'd emptied the box of condoms and had to go out and get more.

Tom made a mental note to have another couple of boxes shipped to their house, at once.

"Enough," he said, his voice slightly hoarse as he crawled back into place over Bill. He got a condom out and put it on while he was thinking about it; didn't want to forget and have Bill entice him into going without when he was so turned on he couldn't think about anything but getting in there.

Bill watched, licking his lip and making soft desirous noises.

"You're so hot," Tom breathed, taking hold of his cock and hovering over Bill. He couldn't believe how badly he wanted to get inside Bill; more than he'd ever wanted girls, or fame, or money, or even playing guitar and making the music they wanted to.

"In me, put it in me; you won't hurt me," Bill urged, pushing his ass out and baring the inner crevice to Tom's very avid eyes.

"But it'll hurt," Tom said, giving in to fascination and running his fingers down into the soft hairless crease. Abstractly he'd known Bill shaved, and had graduated to waxing. Experiencing the reality was...amazing.

Bill keened something wordless and wanting as Tom pulled him closer with a hand at the join of hip and thigh, stroking the hot, delicate skin and teasing a finger around his entrance. He was so incredibly hot, his skin molten to Tom's fingertips.

It made the ache inside Tom roar up to consume everything, not just his dick.

"Please, please, I need it," Bill said breathlessly, shoving back against Tom's exploring fingers.

"It's your first, Bill; I'm not going to do anything to hurt you--" Tom began, stubborn.

"God," Bill uttered, strangled. "I've taken...I've used vibrators before, all right? Because I thought I couldn't have _you_. Put your dick in me before I roll you over and sit on it."

Tom's cock twitched and he took it in hand, halfway ready to actually do it, push it in the way Bill was urging, before he remembered. He needed one more thing for sure or he really would hurt Bill.

Tom grabbed the lube, smearing enough on his fingers and making a face at how sticky it was. He put his fingers in Bill until Bill was gasping, pinching at his own nipples and swearing at Tom to do it, do it, fucking do it already.

With a low groan, Tom hovered over Bill, wiping his fingers on the towel and giving him a kiss. Bill nuzzled up against his mouth with low gasps, his legs clenching over Tom's shoulders.

"Do it," Bill pleaded, tightening his legs.

Tom nodded, kissing at Bill's parted mouth again before reaching between their bodies and aligning his cock with the entrance to Bill's body.

He pushed.

It was like lightning prickling up Tom's spine; he shuddered, holding himself rigid. His dick was so hard he thought he might be on the verge of exploding but he needed this; _Bill_ needed this, Bill was making soft, anxious noises beneath him and sweet breathy 'yes'es and clenching with legs and arms and lips, so Tom kept going.

He was opening up his virgin brother, his Bill, and he had to bite his lips at the flare of sensation that shot through him, encompassing him in a frightening warmth the likes of which he'd never felt during sex. It didn't start in his groin; it began in his chest, his gut, and radiated outward. Tears pricked his eyes and Tom knuckled them aside without stopping to wonder what caused them as he swayed his hips gently, rocking into that unbelievable tightness until they were fully joined. If he'd thought Bill was hot before, he was _scorching_ now, and exerting a pull on his dick that would squeeze the come right out of him even if he never thrust forward or back. He was coping with the most complete shifting of his axis that he'd ever known; realigning gravity, coming home.

Tom gaped down at the place where he was embedded to the base of him inside of Bill. He wanted to say something to acknowledge the painful warmth at his core. He wanted to do something, make Bill feel good, get him off better than any vibrator had done – prove it had been worth waiting, maybe.

"Move," Bill gasped, then continued with a touching thread of insecurity, "Tomi...fuck me?"

Tom's instincts surged to the fore. He grabbed Bill's hips and moved. As he did, revolving slowly in and out, he realized the yearning ache that had consumed him so long was gone.

The ache was gone, and the reality of Bill panting below him, making soft delicious noises and squeezing Tom with his legs and his tight little ass was almost too much, system overload. Tom propped himself over Bill for a quick, messy kiss, all sucking tongue, and pumped his hips experimentally.

"Nnngod," Bill let out, rocking up against him and opening even more.

"Bill," Tom gasped, raising a hand to stroke Bill's hair away from his face.

Bill nuzzled against his hand and rolled his hips all at once, forcing Tom's cock deeper inside of him.

"You feel so good," Tom told him, breath-deprived at the way Bill was looking at him, sweet and loving with so much trust it made Tom swell with pride.

And something else swelled at the way his sexy brother was switching his hips up, trying to get more and more of Tom.

"Fuck me, fuck me; I'm not going to break," Bill urged, clawing at the tops of Tom's arms.

Tom groaned and began to roll his hips, fucking himself into Bill. He started out slow, almost careful but Bill was moaning so prettily, already rocking to demonstrate the pace he wanted, and Tom dove into his rhythm. He built up to quick, hard thrusts and kept giving it to Bill like that, screwing into him so fast and urgently he'd worry about hurting him if Bill wasn't keeping up a low and explicit stream of feedback regarding exactly how wonderful Tom's cock was and how fantastic it was making him feel.

Every time he tried to go slower, ease back and draw it out, Bill clawed at his arms and clamped down on Tom's cock in rhythmic pulses. Bill didn't even have to say anything; at that, all Tom could do was plunge back in hard and fast until their bodies slapped together and Bill screamed out desperate-sounding 'ahh, ahhh's.

He didn't need to ask if Bill was going to come. He could feel it building up between them, and knew it was coming as his own balls drew up and Bill went tense under him, twitching weakly.

Bill's mouth was begging to be kissed and Tom did, bending Bill under him, nearly squashing the goods. He got a hand between them and worked Bill's hard cock as he gave him a slow kiss, mostly probing tongue.

He pulled back before Bill could nip down on his tongue. Bill's head tipped back and he cried out again, coming all over Tom's stomach.

Tom groaned as he was squeezed in the tightest velvet grip imaginable. He thrust a few more times, collapsing atop Bill as his greedy brother's ass pulled his climax right up out of him. Panting, they were twined together for long moments as they drifted back to earth.

"You with me?" Tom murmured, lips brushing against Bill's earlobe. He tried to move a bit but Bill was so comfy, despite his bony angles. Tom had come home at last.

"I've always been with you." Sharp nails teased at Tom's nape.

Tom sighed, breathing in Bill's air, the humidity coming off his sex-drenched skin, and letting go any lingering thought of resistance, or the possibility that this was a one-off. He already knew it was the best sex of his life. This new facet to their relationship was one more thing they'd be keeping to themselves, closed off from the rest of the world.

Bill scrabbled at his shoulders. "Off...unng, get off me, you're heavy." He bit Tom's shoulder.

"Ah," Tom complained, shifting until they were on their sides. His cock slipped free and Bill made a protesting noise. "Damn vampire."

"You like it when I suck," Bill said, rolling onto his back. He got up on an elbow, peering anxiously over at Tom. "Don't you?"

"I dunno, I was so anxious the first time, I need another experience for comparison," Tom replied, raising his brows.

Bill snorted.

Tom peeled the condom off, making a face. He tossed it in his bedside trash, reminded himself to empty the trash soon, and settled back into bed beside Bill.

Naked Bill.

Tom licked his lips and ogled his naked, newly-debauched Bill. Rosy-cheeked and eyes heavy-lidded, a light sheen of sweat covering him here and there; newly-spent desire looked _good_ on Bill.

"So?" Bill rolled around in bed, sprawling out and taking up more than half of Tom's giant Western bed as he always did. A dark brown eye peeked over at Tom from beneath an obscuring fringe of black hair, free of spray and product and a little wavy, as Tom liked it.

"So?" Tom mimicked, stretching out with his hands behind his head. He wriggled his bare toes, glanced from his own unashamed nudity to the demure way Bill had tucked up a leg to figleaf himself.

"Better than your sluts?" Bill wanted to know. The arch of his brow was challenging, but his full mouth was preparing a vulnerable pout.

"What sluts?" Tom asked blankly. He was only half dissembling. What he and Bill had just done had driven the possibility of anything else right out of his sphere of comprehension.

"Those girls you love to fuck!" Bill exclaimed, smacking his chest.

Tom smirked over at him. "I didn't love to fuck any of them," he replied. "And I didn't love them." He caught his breath.

Bill blinked at him, heavy-lidded, and rested his head against Tom's shoulder. He lolled around until he could place a tiny kiss on the deltoid he'd scratched up.

Tom shook his head a little, smile crinkling up his eyes. Of course Bill was going to make him say it first.

"I love _you,_ " Tom told him, stroking Bill's face. "So I only want to be with you, now. That going to be a problem?"

Bill pushed his lips out. "Why would that be a problem?"

"Well, I'm insatiable, you know," Tom said frankly. He dropped an arm around Bill's shoulders and cradled his skinny twin to his chest. Bill let out an adorable peep as he was repositioned. "You're going to have to keep my sex drive satisfied now, as my sole outlet."

"You don't think mine is just as insatiable?" Bill demanded, wriggling beneath Tom in a way that made him want to go again, immediately. He gave Tom an impish, sweetly lustful grin. "We're going to save me so much money on batteries now."

"That's it?" Tom questioned, petting down Bill's naked side.

Bill sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, looking cagey. "Mm...I dunno, what else did you want?"

Tom shook his head until Bill squealed at the tickle of dreadlocks sweeping over his bare skin. "Your undying devotion?"

"You already had that," Bill told him, and stuck his tongue out.

Tom leaned over and nipped it between his lips. Bill hmmed and pushed it into Tom's mouth and they traded kisses, petting and touching and rubbing lazily against one another.

"That's good," Bill commented, drawing back with hazy eyes. "Okay, you have my undying love and my ass, whenever you want it. Where's that box of condoms?"

Tom groped over the bed. "Right here; why?"

"Can you go again?" Bill asked him bluntly. "I want to try riding you."

Tom widened his eyes and reached for the box. "Oh hell yes."

* * *

~ Three Years Later ~

Tom sighed as he hung up the dogs' leashes and kicked his shoes off at the mat by the door. The house was huge, cold and empty to him without the brightness of Bill's presence to transform the place from dwelling to home. He checked the house phone for messages, glared at his own silent cell phone, and headed upstairs with Nova trailing forlornly after him. The other dogs were on strike and waited by the door.

"I miss him too, you know!" Tom called out, insulted by the dogs' fickleness. They loved Bill best, but he couldn't blame them. Tom did, too.

He left his bedroom door wide open, in no mood for a wank. He got mopey without Bill, something everyone knew and Georg had just called him out for.

"You're a bitch when Bill is out of the country," Georg had said, blunt as ever. "Go out and get laid."

Problem was, for the past four years the two had gone hand in hand. Bill and his booty were all Tom had an interest in tapping, ever since his first taste.

Tom heaved another sigh and slumped down at his computer chair. He fired up his laptop, spinning his chair idly on its axis as he waited for the operating system to start up. He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, tapped his fingers over the edge of his desk, and poked a foot out toward Nova, who flopped down in the corner of the room with a matching sigh, giving Tom a doleful glance even though Tom's toes didn't even graze him.

There was no getting laid, and even Chatroulette wasn't going to do it for him, but he did have _some_ means of relief.

As usual, his chat program started up automatically, but Tom ignored it for now in favor of visiting his typical internet haunts. A few e-mails from Andreas, a one-line reply from Gustav regarding an e-mail Tom had forwarded to him - _you're an idiot_ \- spam, a reminder from his mother to drop the dogs off early before he had to drive to Berlin for his upcoming flight. He was trolling for something to send to his PA to post to his blog when something pinged in his other window.

Tom switched over to the chat window, grinning and flicking his tongue out in a brief raspberry when he saw the single line of text.

_u wanna cyber?_

He flexed his fingers over his keyboard for a moment before responding, _rather have the real thing_

Tom groaned at Bill's immediate response. He still wasn't feeling it, missing Bill more than picturing the intimacy he craved so badly.

_i've got something real for u, lover_

"If you say 'in your pants,' I swear to god..." Tom started, and typed out, _what do u have in mind?_

_turn on the webcam_

"Nnn," Tom protested. The last time they'd tried to webcam during Bill's trip for the Arthur premiere, Tom had spilled beer on his keyboard and shorted the damn laptop. He'd had to get the whole thing replaced; turns out circuit boards weren't fond of beer.

_im touching myself_

"Fuck," Tom swore, and did a quick check for beer to either side of the computer before enabling the webcam. He sucked in a quick breath as the image opened up on his screen.

Bill was sprawled back in his chair, wearing nothing but a zippered black manufactured-leather vest. He had a hand wrapped around his dick, gripping it low and easing a thumb over the first smear of pre-come.

"Hey, sexy," he greeted Tom in a low purr.

"Lookin' hot," Tom replied.

"You're wearing too many clothes," Bill told him, beginning to move his hand up and down his cock. "Unless you really did want to cyber?"

"I'm good!" Tom said hastily, and began to shuck off his hoodie and multiple shirts. "Fuck, I've been wanting this all day..."

Bill licked his lip. "You've got me now," he said, inviting Tom on with the arch of his brow, the saucy lift of his hips.

"And I'll have you again soon," Tom promised. He pulled his zipper and licked his lips, concentrated completely on the sight of Bill, near-nude as he was, and only for Tom's eyes.

If he couldn't have the real thing by his side, at least he had the next best thing for now.


End file.
